Why is it that even when we need sleep the most, it doesn’t come? It’s like our bodies are fighting with our minds. Sometimes you just lie there and think of all the things you should have said or done in your life. There’s no lack of fuel for that fire. We have all kinds of cures. Melatonin, bourbon, distract yourself with some tv- the list goes on and on. But one trick that seems to work for me is to write, and this song is the result of one of those sessions. When you write something down, you get a feeling of resolution, which makes it easier to drift off.
I used to feel tortured as I tossed and turned, but that doesn’t help, does it? Letting go is the key to a good night’s sleep. So lately, if my brain is still active, I go straight to my studio and write, because I know that I won’t sleep until I do. There’s a certain kind of creativity that is active the closer to the dream-state we are. I’ve also written first thing in the morning, and there’s a similar effect. The conscious brain hasn’t yet solidified into the waking world. At night, it’s the conscious brain dissolving into the dreaming world, but there are a lot of similarities.
I’ve read (and re-read) Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman graphic novels. In Gaiman’s stories, there’s a real connection between dreams and the stories that we tell. It’s fitting that our ancestors would tell stories by campfires as they gazed upon the stars. I prefer to watch television before bed. There was a time when I would fall asleep in front of the television often- a perk of having a comfy recliner. But then you wake up vaguely rested and unable to return to sleep.
Sometimes it’s a dream that you wake up from in the middle of the night, and that’s never good. The stories in our dreams are trying to uncover something very deep about our existence, and when you remember these dreams, it forces you to face some uncomfortable truths. It is always in these moments that we are forced to answer for our choices. It is curious because this is a moment when we are particularly powerless to fix what is wrong.
The final verse sums up how I was feeling at that moment in time:
It seems that I will always be
Caught between the mountain and the sea
And as soon as I set sail
The winds behind me fail
And the mountain’s far too steep.
I sleep much better now, which leads me to believe that if you can’t sleep, it’s because you are missing something very important in your life, and you need to examine it. I must be doing something right.
This song features Mike Snowden playing lap steal, which really captures the fluid-nature of this state. Glen Howerton plays drums, and while the song isn’t designed to rock, Glen plays to the rhythms of the song giving it shape. In fact, there’s a lot of rhythm on this song. Steve Sizemore plays congas, and it’s the best-sounding conga track I’ve recorded. I never thought they’d be tricky to record, but sometimes you get it, and sometimes you don’t. I was working at Francis Parker when I started recording this song, and I borrowed a bunch of children’s instruments from the music teacher- triangles, castanets, etc. There are several on this track.
I was about to leave this off the album, because it didn’t seem to be doing anything new, but Andrew Lee talked me out of it. It was a good call. It’s a subtle song, to be sure, but not every song needs to hit you over the head. While the song is subtle, it will hit you hard if you are relaxed enough and let the song in. Try listening to it when you can’t get to sleep, and see if it helps.
This sounds like it could have been a Fellow Travelers, with the three-part harmony. Tonya managed to record her track in probably thirty minutes. She’s quick. That’s because she’s a good listener. She knows how to lock in and she always finds her note.